Starring:
John Cusack, Danny Glover
Review:
Beware 2012, which works the dubious miracle of almost
matching Transformers 2 for sheer, cynical, mind-numbing,
time-wasting, money-draining, soul-sucking stupidity. We probably
are nearing the end of the movie world when it’s easy to predict
that the biggest turd in the bowl will rise to the top of the box
office. Equally depressing is the […]

Continue reading " 2012 "

Starring:
Megan Fox, Amanda Seyfried
Review: Hot! Hot! Hot! That’s obvious in a high school flick
with Megan Fox as Jennifer, a sex bomb who turns she-demon and behaves
like the heartless bitch she always was except for killing boys and
macking on her mousy BFF (a terrific Amanda Seyfried). It’s the smarts
in the script by Juno’s Diablo Cody […]

Continue reading " Jennifer’s Body "

Starring:
Sharlto Copley, Jason Cope, David James, Mandla Gaduka, William
A…
Review:
Fanboys were orgasmic when producer Peter Jackson previewed
District 9 at July’s Comic-Con in San Diego.
Variety tagged it the “thinking person’s alien movie.” I’m
assuming Transformers 2 is the stupid person’s version.
And since Michael Bay’s attack on the human thought process has
already grossed $380 million in the U.S. […]

Continue reading " District 9 "

Starring:
Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje, Christopher Eccleston, Joseph
Gordon-Le…
Review:
I don’t know what to say about the acting, writing and directing
in G.I. Joe because I couldn’t find any. There were scads
of pretty people posing awkwardly in military chic and tossing out
lame one-liners. Take this exchange between Army pals Duke
(Channing Tatum) and Ripcord (Marlon Wayans):
Ripcord: “I’ve been thinking.”
Duke: “I […]

Continue reading " G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra "

Starring:
Shia LeBeouf, Megan Fox, Josh Duhamel
Review:
It’s tempting to dismiss Michael Bay’s long, loud and ludicrous
sequel to 2007’s Transformers with one word —
hunkajunk. On every level this movie is as bankrupt as GM. But
there is more to be said about a movie this gargantuan ($200
million spent on robot hardbodies) and galactically stupid.
Transformers: The Revenge […]

Continue reading " Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen "